Full disclosure: I don’t know if I’m infertile or not. I’ve never been tested, but I’ve had my suspicions throughout the years. Here’s the thing though…I’ve never had a strong desire to have biological children, so finding out that I was infertile wouldn’t phase me too much. On the other hand, my sister has always wanted a family. Thankfully, she and her husband are currently expecting their second child. However, if she had been given the news that she or her husband were infertile, I imagine it would have been devastating. Infertility affects different people in different ways, and for some people infertility can feel like the end of their hopes and dreams for what their life will be like.
This is the part where I’m going to repeat the super-insensitive phrase that is the title of this blog post (and hopefully not offend anyone): regardless of whether you dream of pregnancy and children or whether you are content with your fur-baby (I love you, Moxie!), being infertile isn’t the end of the world. You heard me: infertility is NOT the end of the world.
Here are some things that WOULD be the end of the world…a global pandemic (a la ebola, for example), a major asteroid impact, nuclear warfare, climate change, and let’s not forget the dreaded zombie apocalypse. Now before you shoot me, I’m just trying to inject a little humor into an admittedly heavy topic and give everyone a reminder of the proverbial, “it could always be worse.” In no way am I mocking, condescending, preaching, or minimalizing the very real feelings of frustration, hopelessness, and despair that infertility can bring. But I do know from personal experience as an unrelenting pessimist that there are times when we need to step back and get a fresh perspective on things.
Usually, things are not as bad as they seem. Sometimes, they are exactly as bad as they seem. But rarely are things hopeless. Infertility is a struggle, a hurdle, and a wound that you may carry your whole life and that may never fully heal. Every person is different, and some people will “move on” quickly while for others it may be a constant struggle. But it IS possible to find comfort, to find support, and to find happiness and fulfillment in your life. There are numerous infertility resources available, including online forums, message boards, and support groups. Remember, you are not alone on your journey. In the words of Anne Frank, “think of all the beauty still left around you, and be happy.”
Written by: Margaret Durkovic